Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,772

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Just shared via Reddit:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Going viral on Telegram:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Breaking via Slack:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Trending via YouTube:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Making waves on Discord:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Home » Funny Favorite Child Quotes

Funny favorite child quotes

Funny favorite child quotes bring all the laughs and sibling rivalry drama to life 😂🎉 Whether you’re team oldest, middle, or baby, these witty lines capture the playful battles for the crown 👑😜 Get ready to giggle, relate, and maybe even claim your spot as the ultimate favorite child! 😎✨ Perfect for sharing with family or spicing up your feed with some cheeky humor! 📱🔥

New funny favorite child quotes 👇

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

0

2 months ago

child, chore, clean, clean room, cleaned, excuse, family, favorite, favorite child, girl, guess, humor, i, kids, neighbor, over, parenting, room, rooms, told
It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

0

2 months ago

child, choices, choose, family, favorite, favorite child, humor, i, know, own, parenting, realization, siblings, someone

All funny favorite child quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

31 shares on Threads this month:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

52 shares on Discord this month:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

49 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

10 shares on X this month:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,722

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Spotted on Threads:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Spreading quickly via X:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Just landed via Discord:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Making waves on Threads:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Making waves on WeChat:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴