Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Just landed via Messenger:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Trending via YouTube:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Just landed via Slack:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Trending via Pinterest:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Going viral on Discord:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Shared recently on Twitch:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Funny favorite child quotes

Funny favorite child quotes bring all the laughs and sibling rivalry drama to life 😂🎉 Whether you’re team oldest, middle, or baby, these witty lines capture the playful battles for the crown 👑😜 Get ready to giggle, relate, and maybe even claim your spot as the ultimate favorite child! 😎✨ Perfect for sharing with family or spicing up your feed with some cheeky humor! 📱🔥

New funny favorite child quotes 👇

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

7 days ago

child, chore, clean, clean room, cleaned, excuse, family, favorite, favorite child, girl, guess, humor, i, kids, neighbor, over, parenting, room, rooms, told
It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

3 weeks ago

child, choices, choose, family, favorite, favorite child, humor, i, know, own, parenting, realization, siblings, someone

All funny favorite child quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WeChat this month:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being social on social media.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Just landed via YouTube:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Just landed via Instagram:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Making waves on Snapchat:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Breaking via TikTok:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Spotted on Messenger:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴