Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Just landed via Messenger:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Just landed via Facebook:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Making waves on Threads:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Going viral on TikTok:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Funny fireplace quotes

Funny fireplace quotes 🔥 add a cozy spark to any chilly night! Whether you’re roasting marshmallows or just enjoying the glow, these witty lines bring warmth and laughs 😄. Perfect for sharing by the fire or spicing up your winter vibes ❄️✨. Get ready to ignite your sense of humor and make your hearth the heart of the fun! 🎉🔥

New funny fireplace quotes 👇

All funny fireplace quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Ugh, but profoundly.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

66 shares on Slack this month:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,525

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Trending via Slack:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Spotted on Twitch:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

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