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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Seen just now on Discord:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Seen just now on Slack:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Just landed via Discord:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Just shared via YouTube:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Breaking via Telegram:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Making waves on X:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Making waves on YouTube:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Funny first grade quotes

Funny first grade quotes bring all the giggles and heart-melting moments from the classroom 🎒✏️ Whether it’s silly sayings from little learners or unexpected wisdom from tiny teachers, these gems capture the joy and chaos of early school days 😂📚 Get ready to smile, laugh, and maybe even relate to the adorable honesty only first graders can deliver! 🎉✨

New funny first grade quotes 👇

All funny first grade quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

93 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

80 shares on Slack this month:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

The older I get, no.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Making waves on Discord:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Just landed via TikTok:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Just landed via Threads:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Making waves on WeChat:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Broadcasted on X:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Trending via TikTok:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

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