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168 Funny fitness quotes

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I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.
When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.
I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.
Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.
How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

More funny fitness quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Commentary:
"Who knew downward dog could be rocking out to some old school beats? 🧘‍♂️💃 Break it down, yoga style! 🎵 #YogaBreakdanceRevolution"
3 months ago
Share →: I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Commentary:
"Same, but my genes seem to be more 'relaxed fit' 😄👖 #GeneticsGotJokes"
3 months ago
Share →: The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Commentary:
"Who needs personal trainers when you have the ice cream truck, right? 🍦💪 It's all about that sweet motivation rolling by! 😂 #FitnessGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Commentary:
"Health nuts – the irony is strong with this one! 🥦🤦‍♂️ Who knew that all those kale smoothies would lead to a showdown with a stale hospital menu? 🏥😂 Remember folks, everything in moderation, even moderation itself! 🍔😜"
3 months ago
Share →: How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Commentary:
"Has anyone cracked the code on audible sighs yet? 🤔 I swear, my Apple Watch must be snoozing during those intense sighing moments. 💨 At this rate, I might need a separate fitness tracker just for my exasperated expressions! 😂"
3 months ago
Share →: Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Commentary:
🎄🍔🍟 "Don't blame the holidays for that extra serving of pie – you were already rocking that 'summer bod' in August! Maybe your beach towel needed a little more loving than your salad bowl 🤷‍♂️🤣 #HolidayFeastFail"
3 months ago
Share →: The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Commentary:
"Looks like your bank account got a little too much cardio this month! 💸🏃‍♂️ Time to switch up those financial fitness routines! 💪💰"
3 months ago
Share →: I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Commentary:
"Missing the gym for 7 years straight? Looks like you've unintentionally mastered the art of gym avoidance! 😅 Who needs weights when you've got such strong forgetfulness muscles? 💪🤷‍♂️"
3 months ago
Share →: I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Commentary:
Oh, the ultimate mystery of diets – where salads make you gain weight and cookies disappear miraculously 😂🍪 It's like the scale is playing a sneaky game of hide and seek with your progress! Keep going, you're one week closer to solving the grand puzzle of dieting 😉💪
3 months ago
Share →: Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's trying to reboot their diet by using the ultimate key combination – Ctrl Alt Delete my fat! If only it were that easy to reset our bodies like a computer system. Perhaps a healthy dose of Ctrl+C for copying gym routines and Ctrl+V for pasting salads into our daily meals might help too!"