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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Going viral on Discord:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Spotted on Instagram:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Breaking via Messenger:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Making waves on TikTok:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Just shared via TikTok:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Funny fly swatter quotes

Funny fly swatter quotes 🪰💥 bring a hilarious twist to the age-old battle against pesky bugs! Whether you’re swatting in frustration or celebrating a victorious zap, these witty lines add humor to the hunt. Get ready to laugh out loud 😂 while turning an ordinary household tool into a comedy star. Perfect for sharing or brightening up your kitchen vibes—because even fly swatters deserve a little spotlight! 🌟🦟

New funny fly swatter quotes 👇

All funny fly swatter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

84 shares on X this month:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Trending via X:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Just shared via X:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Just landed via TikTok:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Going viral on Facebook:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

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