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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Just shared via Threads:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Trending via Threads:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Shared recently on Discord:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Seen just now on Twitch:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Just landed via Twitch:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Just landed via Instagram:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Funny fossil quotes

Funny fossil quotes 🦕💬 bring prehistoric humor to life, making ancient bones and rocks surprisingly hilarious! Whether you’re a dino lover or just here for a good laugh 😂, these witty lines dig deep into history with a playful twist. Get ready to unearth some giggles that are truly set in stone! 🪨🤣 #FossilFun #DinoLaughs

New funny fossil quotes 👇

All funny fossil quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Twitch this month:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

46 shares on Discord this month:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

43 shares on X this month:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

85 shares on Discord this month:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

69 shares on YouTube this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Seen just now on X:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Breaking via Slack:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Making waves on Facebook:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Going viral on X:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Just landed via TikTok:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

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