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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Spotted on Instagram:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Going viral on Instagram:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Just landed via Messenger:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Going viral on Telegram:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Seen just now on Threads:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Funny gentleman quotes

New funny gentleman quotes 👇

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

0

2 months ago

activity, always, etiquette, fun, fun activity, gentleman, humor, machine, neatness, shaking, vending, vending machine

Someone from 🇸🇲 has recently copied this quote.

118 shares on LinkedIn this month.
A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

0

4 months ago

ass, both, door, doors, flirtation, flower, flowers, gentleman, hair, humor, man, relationship, soulmate

Someone from 🇨🇾 has recently shared this quote.

32 shares on X this month.

All funny gentleman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Threads this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

80 shares on Discord this month:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

12 shares on X this month:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

52 shares on Discord this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Just shared via Facebook:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Seen just now on X:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Shared recently on YouTube:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Just shared via Snapchat:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Just landed via Reddit:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny gentleman quotes

New funny gentleman quotes 👇

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

All funny gentleman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨