Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2143 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,305

Funny Quotes Topics

15,032

Funny Quotes Images

12,305

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Breaking via X:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Breaking via WeChat:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Just landed via Instagram:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Making waves on Facebook:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Live now on Discord:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Breaking via Discord:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Making waves on TikTok:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Home » Funny Get Away Quotes

Funny get away quotes

New funny get away quotes 👇

For even more funny get away quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny get away quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2143 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,305

Funny Quotes Topics

15,032

Funny Quotes Images

12,305

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Going viral on Threads:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Making waves on WeChat:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Reported on LinkedIn:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Trending via Telegram:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴