Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Making waves on Instagram:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Breaking via Instagram:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Making waves on Slack:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Trending via YouTube:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Just shared via Instagram:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Funny glow-up quotes

Funny glow-up quotes are the perfect way to celebrate your transformation with a splash of humor and confidence ✨😂 Whether you’ve leveled up your style, attitude, or self-love game, these witty sayings will have you laughing and glowing brighter than ever 💅🌟 Get ready to embrace your glow-up journey with a smile and a sassy vibe!

New funny glow-up quotes 👇

All funny glow-up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

59 shares on Threads this month:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

65 shares on X this month:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Making waves on Slack:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Making waves on Telegram:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Spotted on TikTok:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Live now on Instagram:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Just landed via Slack:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴