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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Live now on Facebook:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Just landed via TikTok:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sane is boring.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Breaking via Messenger:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Funny gummy bear quotes

Funny gummy bear quotes are the perfect blend of sweet and silly 🍬😄, bringing a burst of laughter to your day! Whether you’re a candy lover or just need a cheerful pick-me-up, these playful phrases will have you grinning like a gummy bear in a jar 🐻✨. Get ready to add a sprinkle of joy and gummy goodness to your feed—because everyone deserves a little chewy happiness! 🍭🎉

New funny gummy bear quotes 👇

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

3 weeks ago

almost, bear, bears, candy, common, comparison, funny observation, gummy, gummy bear, gummy worm, humor, nothing, observation, worm
What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

1 month ago

bear, close, even, food, food source, funny thought, grocery, grocery store, gummy, gummy bear, humor, hunt, i, know, little, live, source, store, stores, survival, thought, where
Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

1 month ago

bear, choke, dark, dark humor, death, funny death, gummy, gummy bear, humor, ironic, killed, read, snack, tombstone

All funny gummy bear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Slack this month:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

47 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Spotted on Slack:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Just shared via TikTok:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Breaking via Twitch:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Breaking via YouTube:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

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