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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,358

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

Making waves on Threads:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Going bananas on Facebook:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Just landed via YouTube:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Trending via Instagram:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Funny hairdresser quotes

Funny hairdresser quotes 💇‍♀️✂️ bring the perfect blend of wit and style to your day! Whether you’re waiting for a trim or just love a good laugh, these cheeky sayings capture the wild, wonderful world of salons. Get ready to snip, style, and smile 😄✨—because hair isn’t just about looks, it’s about having fun too!

New funny hairdresser quotes 👇

All funny hairdresser quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

27 shares on Threads this month:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

51 shares on Threads this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Going viral on YouTube:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Just shared via TikTok:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Making waves on WeChat:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Trending via WhatsApp:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

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