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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Making waves on Reddit:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Just shared via WeChat:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Spotted on Discord:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Just landed via Twitch:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

80 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

21 shares on X this month:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,540

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Spotted on YouTube:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Just landed via Discord:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Trending via Reddit:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Breaking via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

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