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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Shared recently on X:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Shared recently on Discord:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Going viral on Facebook:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Spotted on Messenger:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Making waves on Threads:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Just landed via Twitch:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Spotted on Reddit:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Making waves on Slack:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Making waves on WeChat:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

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