Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Shared recently on Instagram:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Shared recently on Threads:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Funny house plant quotes

Funny house plant quotes bring a splash of humor 🌿😂 to your green corner, turning ordinary leaves into daily smiles! Whether you’re a proud plant parent or just love a good laugh 🤪, these witty sayings will brighten your day and maybe even help your succulents thrive (or at least feel appreciated). Get ready to nurture your plants and your sense of humor all at once! 🌵✨

New funny house plant quotes 👇

All funny house plant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Threads this month:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

72 shares on X this month:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

97 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

88 shares on Reddit this month:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Going viral on Facebook:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Going viral on TikTok:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Trending via Instagram:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Just shared via Telegram:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Trending via WeChat:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

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