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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Trending via Threads:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Just landed via Discord:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Going viral on WeChat:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Going viral on Twitch:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Reported on Messenger:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Trending via X:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Trending via Facebook:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Just landed via Threads:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Spotted on WeChat:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Just shared via Discord:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

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