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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Making waves on WeChat:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Going viral on TikTok:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Breaking via Reddit:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Funny housewife quotes

Funny housewife quotes bring laughter and relatability to the everyday chaos of home life 🏠😂 From juggling chores to mastering the art of multitasking, these witty sayings celebrate the humor behind the hustle 💪🧹 Whether you’re a seasoned pro or just starting the journey, get ready to smile and nod along with these clever gems that make housewifery a little less serious and a lot more fun! 🎉💃

New funny housewife quotes 👇

All funny housewife quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Threads this month:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

32 shares on X this month:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have to stand in the shower about this.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Trending via Snapchat:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Spreading quickly via X:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Just landed via Slack:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Breaking via Messenger:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Shared recently on Threads:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

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