Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Spotted on Reddit:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Going viral on WeChat:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Breaking via TikTok:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Funny housewife quotes

Funny housewife quotes bring laughter and relatability to the everyday chaos of home life 🏠😂 From juggling chores to mastering the art of multitasking, these witty sayings celebrate the humor behind the hustle 💪🧹 Whether you’re a seasoned pro or just starting the journey, get ready to smile and nod along with these clever gems that make housewifery a little less serious and a lot more fun! 🎉💃

New funny housewife quotes 👇

All funny housewife quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

75 shares on Slack this month:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You are the Monday of my life.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Just landed via Telegram:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Spotted on Discord:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Just shared via Instagram:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Trending via YouTube:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Seen just now on Instagram:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Trending via Telegram:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Trending via TikTok:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Breaking via Threads:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

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