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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Just shared via YouTube:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Drive like no one is watching.

Spotted on X:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Spotted on Facebook:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Live now on Messenger:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Breaking via Slack:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Trending via Snapchat:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Funny human brain quotes

New funny human brain quotes 👇

All funny human brain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

73 shares on Slack this month:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

58 shares on Discord this month:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Shared recently on X:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Live now on Instagram:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Breaking via Twitch:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

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