Commentary:
"Offering mental health advice when you're one jellybean short of the jar… 🤪🏥 Remember, sometimes laughter is the best therapy! 😂 #FriendshipGoals #AsylumBound"
5673 Funny i quotes
I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.
Commentary:
Well, that's like reading the last page of a book first! 📚🍿 Starting off with sex without the backstory is like showing up to a party fashionably late but missing all the juicy gossip! 😆 #JustGiveUsThePlotTwist
Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.
Commentary:
"Who needs a duck in a row when you can have a duck party instead? 🦆🎉 Embrace the chaos and let those ducks roam free! Just be sure to watch your step 🦆💨 #QuackAttack"
I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.
Commentary:
🕵️♂️🍔🕶️ "Move over, sleek and suave Bond, it's time for the charmingly hefty agent to save the day! Who needs a martini when you can have a milkshake shaken, not stirred? 🍹💪 #LicenseToChill"
Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?
Commentary:
"Why take the high road when you can ride shotgun with the psychopath? 🤪🛣️ Sometimes the journey is more exciting when you embrace the chaos! 😈🚗"
Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.
Commentary:
"Oh, I see we share the same 'say now, think later' philosophy! 🙊 Just total improvisation here, folks. Surprise! 🤷♂️ Who needs a filter when you have a spontaneous burst of brilliance waiting to be unleashed? 😂"
I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.
Commentary:
Ah, the mental gymnastics of self-awareness – a never-ending loop of "I am" and "I think"! 🤔💭 It's like a philosophical merry-go-round that never stops spinning! 🔄 Just remember, Descartes' brain never rests – it's a real workout up there! 💪🧠
My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.
Commentary:
"When did my birth year graduate from the kiddie pool to the deep end of the scroll list? 🚼➡️📜😅"
I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.
Commentary:
Who needs small talk and social niceties when you can just appreciate silent understanding and mutual ghosting? 😂👻 #IntrovertGoals
For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.
Commentary:
Well, that would certainly make for a busy doctor! 🚨🩺 Imagine being on-call 24/7 just in case someone needed you to play a game of Operation! Looks like we've found a new spinoff show – "Grey's Anatomy: Oncall Edition"! 🤣 #DoctorDrama