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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Going viral on Slack:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Making waves on Telegram:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Live now on WeChat:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Just shared via Pinterest:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Making waves on TikTok:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Making waves on Instagram:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Funny ideology quotes

Funny ideology quotes bring a hilarious twist to serious beliefs 🤪💡 Whether you’re a philosophy geek or just love a good laugh, these witty takes on big ideas will brighten your day 🌟😂 Get ready to chuckle at the quirks of thinking and challenge mindsets with a smile 😎🧠 #LaughAndLearn #MindsetMonday

New funny ideology quotes 👇

All funny ideology quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

19 shares on Instagram this month:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Going viral on Facebook:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Going viral on Threads:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Just landed via Slack:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Making waves on Reddit:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Making waves on Telegram:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Spotted on X:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

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