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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Breaking via Messenger:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Making waves on Facebook:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Spotted on Facebook:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Reported on Twitch:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Trending via Threads:

In banana years, I am bread.

Reported on Discord:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Shared recently on Reddit:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Making waves on Messenger:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

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