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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,847

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Trending via WeChat:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Just landed via Messenger:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,985

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Spotted on YouTube:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Just landed via Messenger:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Shared recently on Instagram:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Trending via Facebook:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Going viral on Telegram:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Trending via Threads:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Breaking via Instagram:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

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