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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Spotted on Slack:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Reported on Instagram:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Making waves on YouTube:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Just shared via Reddit:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Trending via Threads:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Seen just now on Discord:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Just shared via Facebook:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Going viral on Telegram:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

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