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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Shared recently on Slack:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Spotted on Threads:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Just landed via X:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Going viral on YouTube:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Going viral on Threads:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Going bananas on X:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Shared recently on Discord:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Funny kitchen disaster quotes

Funny kitchen disaster quotes bring the chaos and laughter of cooking fails to life 🍳🔥 From burnt toast to exploding blenders, these hilarious lines capture those “oops” moments we all face while trying to be chefs 👩‍🍳😂 Get ready to smile, relate, and maybe even cringe a little as we celebrate the messy magic of the kitchen mishaps! 🍲💥 #KitchenFails #CookingComedy

New funny kitchen disaster quotes 👇

All funny kitchen disaster quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

62 shares on Threads this month:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Making waves on Threads:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Just landed via WeChat:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Just shared via Discord:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Spotted on WeChat:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Just landed via TikTok:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

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