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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Broadcasted on Threads:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Just landed via Telegram:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Reported on Pinterest:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Trending via X:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Spotted on Slack:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Trending via Messenger:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Spotted on Discord:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Trending via Twitch:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Trending via Twitch:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Breaking via Slack:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Going viral on Instagram:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Going viral on Twitch:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Trending via Threads:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Shared recently on Slack:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

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