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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2429 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,591

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,591

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Just landed via Slack:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Making waves on Threads:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Trending via Reddit:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Home » Funny Leave Me Alone Quotes

Funny leave me alone quotes

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All funny leave me alone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2429 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,591

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,591

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Just landed via Twitch:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Making waves on Slack:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Live now on Threads:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Making waves on X:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Just landed via Messenger:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Going viral on YouTube:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

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