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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Breaking via YouTube:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Reported on TikTok:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Reported on Discord:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Just shared via Facebook:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Going viral on Telegram:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Just landed via Facebook:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Trending via Instagram:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Seen just now on Slack:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Trending via Telegram:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Broadcasted on X:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Reported on Slack:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Just landed via TikTok:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Making waves on Reddit:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

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