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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2038 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,200

Funny Quotes Topics

14,954

Funny Quotes Images

12,200

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Just landed via Threads:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Going viral on Reddit:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Breaking via Facebook:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Just shared via Instagram:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Home » Funny Life Of Crime Quotes

Funny life of crime quotes

New funny life of crime quotes 👇

For even more funny life of crime quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny life of crime quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2038 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,200

Funny Quotes Topics

14,954

Funny Quotes Images

12,200

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Going viral on TikTok:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Spotted on Facebook:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

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