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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Going viral on Threads:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Spotted on Telegram:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Just shared via WeChat:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Breaking via Discord:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Just landed via Threads:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

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Funny love language quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Seen just now on Discord:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Just landed via WeChat:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Reported on Pinterest:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Making waves on Threads:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Going viral on Facebook:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Trending via X:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Live now on Snapchat:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

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