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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2156 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,318

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,318

Updated

41 seconds ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Just landed via TikTok:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Trending via TikTok:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Making waves on Threads:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Reported on X:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Trending via Messenger:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Just shared via Instagram:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Just shared via Discord:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2156 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,318

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,318

Updated

41 seconds ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Trending via Discord:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Reported on Messenger:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Making waves on Reddit:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Making waves on WeChat:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

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