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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Making waves on Telegram:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Trending via Discord:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Trending via TikTok:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Making waves on Slack:

I told ChatGPT about us.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Instagram this month:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

95 shares on Discord this month:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

66 shares on Threads this month:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Just landed via Threads:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Trending via YouTube:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Trending via Reddit:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Trending via Facebook:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Going viral on Threads:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Going viral on Discord:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Going bananas on X:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

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