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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Just shared via WeChat:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Making waves on YouTube:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Going bananas on Twitch:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Just landed via Discord:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Funny mile quotes

Funny mile quotes are the perfect fuel to keep you laughing through every step of your run 🏃‍♂️😂 Whether you’re pacing yourself or chasing a personal best, these witty gems add a burst of humor to the miles ahead 🚀🤣 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as you tackle the distance with a lighter heart and a faster stride! 🌟👟 #RunLaughRepeat

New funny mile quotes 👇

All funny mile quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

57 shares on Threads this month:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Just shared via Instagram:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Going viral on X:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Going viral on Reddit:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Making waves on Discord:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Trending via Messenger:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Trending via Messenger:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

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