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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,992

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,992

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Spotted on Instagram:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Just shared via Threads:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Going viral on Twitch:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Breaking via Twitch:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Trending via Discord:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,992

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,992

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Making waves on Facebook:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Live now on Twitch:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Making waves on X:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Making waves on Discord:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Reported on Facebook:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

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