Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Trending via Snapchat:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Spotted on Instagram:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Trending via YouTube:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Funny New Jersey quotes

Funny New Jersey quotes bring the Garden State’s quirky charm to life with a splash of humor and a dash of sass 🌟🌆 From iconic accents to legendary roadside diners, these playful sayings capture everything that makes NJ uniquely awesome 🚗🍕 Whether you’re a local or just love the vibe, get ready to laugh and celebrate the lovable spirit of New Jersey! 😂🎉

New funny New Jersey quotes 👇

All funny New Jersey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

81 shares on Discord this month:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

86 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,263

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Seen just now on Slack:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Freshly posted on X:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Making waves on Threads:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴