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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Spotted on TikTok:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Spotted on X:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Seen just now on Slack:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Funny new love quotes

New funny new love quotes 👇

All funny new love quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

52 shares on Threads this month:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Never eat more than you can lift.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Going viral on Slack:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Making waves on Telegram:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Just landed via WeChat:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Trending via Twitch:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Going viral on Messenger:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Seen just now on Telegram:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

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