Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Trending via Twitch:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Live now on Slack:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Spotted on X:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Just landed via YouTube:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Breaking via Instagram:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Making waves on YouTube:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Trending via Reddit:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Funny not for me quotes

New funny not for me quotes 👇

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

0

2 months ago

commitment, dating, end, humor, life, me, not for me, relationship, single, single life, something, unfortunately, want

Someone from 🇸🇩 has recently copied this quote.

82 shares on WeChat this month.

All funny not for me quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

43 shares on Slack this month:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

26 shares on Discord this month:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

84 shares on X this month:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Just shared via Slack:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Just shared via Slack:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Just shared via Slack:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Going viral on Slack:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Spotted on Facebook:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny not for me quotes

New funny not for me quotes 👇

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

All funny not for me quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨