Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Spotted on YouTube:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Spotted on TikTok:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Trending via Instagram:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Just shared via Discord:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Just shared via TikTok:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Trending via YouTube:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Funny not hearing quotes

New funny not hearing quotes 👇

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

1 week ago

communication, distraction, eyes, hearing, humor, i, listening, not hearing, right, single, superpower, talking, word

All funny not hearing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

49 shares on Slack this month:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

53 shares on Slack this month:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Meow means woof in cat.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Spotted on TikTok:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Trending via YouTube:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Just landed via TikTok:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny not hearing quotes

New funny not hearing quotes 👇

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

All funny not hearing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨