Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Spotted on Threads:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Trending via WeChat:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Live now on YouTube:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Breaking via Threads:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Going bananas on Slack:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Funny occurrence quotes

New funny occurrence quotes 👇

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

1 month ago

attack, bright, bright side, eat, ever, good, humor, just, let, occurrence, positivity, rare, rare occurrence, shark, side, special, sport, survival

All funny occurrence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

45 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Just shared via Threads:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Making waves on Discord:

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

Making waves on X:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Spotted on Discord:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Spotted on WeChat:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Just shared via Messenger:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny occurrence quotes

New funny occurrence quotes 👇

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

All funny occurrence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨