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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2128 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,290

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,290

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Trending via WhatsApp:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Breaking via X:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Trending via Reddit:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Live now on Threads:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2128 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,290

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,290

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Spotted on Slack:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Live now on YouTube:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Making waves on Facebook:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Just shared via TikTok:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Trending via X:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Reported on Messenger:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Live now on Snapchat:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

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