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The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

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Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

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Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

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I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

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I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

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Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

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“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

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On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

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The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

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When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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501 this month

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Updated

Dec 22, 2025

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Making waves on Snapchat:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Just landed via YouTube:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Spotted on TikTok:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Making waves on Discord:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Freshly posted on Slack:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Home » Funny Outstanding Bill Quotes

Funny outstanding bill quotes

New funny outstanding bill quotes 👇

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

0

2 months ago

bill, doctor, email, emails, finance, good, humor, joke, love, me, medical, outstanding, outstanding bill, pay, payment, sarcasm

All funny outstanding bill quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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60 shares on Instagram this month:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

38 shares on Instagram this month:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

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Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

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I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

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A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

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Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

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Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

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Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

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Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

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Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

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Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

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My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

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Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Just landed via Messenger:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

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I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

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Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

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Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

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The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

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Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

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Funny outstanding bill quotes

New funny outstanding bill quotes 👇

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

All funny outstanding bill quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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