Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Seen just now on Threads:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Living la vida taco!

Seen just now on Twitch:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Trending via X:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Spotted on Facebook:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Going viral on Instagram:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Funny performance-enhancing quotes

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All funny performance-enhancing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Threads this month:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

79 shares on X this month:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Just landed via TikTok:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Live now on Messenger:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Live now on Slack:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Going bananas on Discord:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Trending via Reddit:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Just shared via Discord:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

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