Funny phrase parody quotes

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Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

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The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

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Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

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My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

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One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

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Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

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I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

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I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

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I have the bruises of a much more active person.

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If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.