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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Live now on Pinterest:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Live now on Threads:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Trending via Telegram:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Making waves on TikTok:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Going viral on Messenger:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Spotted on Facebook:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Funny pink eye quotes

Funny pink eye quotes are the perfect way to bring some laughter 😂 to an otherwise itchy and annoying situation 👁️‍🗨️. Whether you’re battling that pesky redness or just want to brighten someone’s day, these witty lines add a splash of humor 🌈 to your eye care routine. Get ready to wink, chuckle, and maybe even forget about the itch for a moment! 😉✨

New funny pink eye quotes 👇

All funny pink eye quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Telegram this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

48 shares on X this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

19 shares on X this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

49 shares on Discord this month:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Spotted on X:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Trending via X:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Just landed via Facebook:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Going viral on Threads:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Overthinkaholic!

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