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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

34 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Just shared via Threads:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Home » Funny Pink Eye Quotes

Funny pink eye quotes

New funny pink eye quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Commentary:
"Someone clearly misunderstood the concept of 'taking a red-eye.' 🌚💼 Nevertheless, avoiding pink eye is definitely the way to go on flights! 👁️✈️ #TravelWoes"
6 months ago
Share →: I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Commentary:
Haha, talk about a colorful imagination! 🌈👁️🍊 It's as if they were on a vibrant naming spree and decided to mix up eye conditions with breakfast beverages! Just imagine, "Excuse me, is that pink eye in your eye or just some orange juice residue?" 😂

For even more funny pink eye quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pink eye quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

34 minutes ago

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Spotted on Threads:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Reported on X:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Making waves on Telegram:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Trending via Discord:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Trending via Pinterest:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

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