Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Trending via Facebook:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Making waves on X:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Trending via Instagram:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Funny ponytail quotes

Funny ponytail quotes are here to brighten your day and celebrate that trusty hairdo we all love 🐴✨ Whether you’re rocking a messy bun or a sleek high pony, these playful lines capture the magic and mischief of ponytail power 💁‍♀️💫 Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even share a giggle with your besties while flaunting that fabulous flick of hair! 🎉🎀

New funny ponytail quotes 👇

All funny ponytail quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Discord this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

100 shares on Threads this month:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Making waves on Discord:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Just shared via Twitch:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Breaking via Threads:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Going viral on Slack:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

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