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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Going viral on Twitch:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I hope this email kills us both.

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Funny prospect quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Freshly posted on X:

Love is in the air fryer.

Just shared via WeChat:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Spotted on Snapchat:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Spotted on WeChat:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Going viral on WeChat:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Making waves on TikTok:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Being a little freak is my love language.

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