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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Women love asking you questions about the movie you both are watching.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,740

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Seen just now on Slack:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Making waves on TikTok:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Trending via WeChat:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Going viral on Reddit:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Making waves on TikTok:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Going viral on WeChat:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Funny public information quotes

New funny public information quotes 👇

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

2 weeks ago

access, God, humor, i, information, investigation, irony, know, media, privacy, public, public information, resources, social, social media, stalking

All funny public information quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

75 shares on X this month:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

65 shares on Slack this month:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Trending via Messenger:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Freshly posted on Discord:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Trending via Snapchat:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Just shared via YouTube:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Spotted on Messenger:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny public information quotes

New funny public information quotes 👇

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

All funny public information quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨