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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Trending via Instagram:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Just landed via Twitch:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Going viral on Reddit:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Just landed via Telegram:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Funny puzzled quotes

New funny puzzled quotes 👇

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

2 months ago

confusion, curiosity, ever, funny reaction, head, head tilt, humor, media, multiple, post, puzzled, questioning, reaction, read, social, social media, still, tilt, times, whisper

All funny puzzled quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Discord this month:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

66 shares on Instagram this month:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Spotted on Telegram:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny puzzled quotes

New funny puzzled quotes 👇

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

All funny puzzled quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨