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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Just shared via WeChat:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Seen just now on Threads:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Going viral on Discord:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Just landed via Threads:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Trending via Discord:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Funny R2D2 quotes

Funny R2D2 quotes 🚀🤖 are the perfect way to add a splash of galactic humor to your day! Whether you’re a die-hard Star Wars fan or just love a good droid joke, these witty beeps and boops bring endless smiles 🌟. Get ready to beam up some laughter and celebrate everyone’s favorite astromech sidekick with playful vibes and cosmic charm! ✨🛸

New funny R2D2 quotes 👇

All funny R2D2 quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

99 shares on Discord this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Just shared via Reddit:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Going viral on WeChat:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There are too many neglected emojis.

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