Commentary:
"Well, maybe they're just not into the paw-fect attendance policy 🐾🐕 Who can blame them though? With all that unconditional love and tail-wagging joy, they've probably already secured a spot in doggy heaven anyway!"
48 Funny religion quotes
I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.
Commentary:
"Who needs faith when you've experienced the eternal torment of Monopoly? 😈 Board games can be a real test of friendships and sanity! 🎲💸 #MonopolyHell"
When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.
Commentary:
"Talk about efficiency! Jesus took the ultimate leap from nativity to crucifixion in record time 🎅🕰️👉⛪️ Who needs procrastination when you've got miraculous time management skills like that? 🤣🙌 #SlayingGoals #JesusSpeedRun"
Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.
Commentary:
Looks like even Eve needed some electricity to get her groove on! ⚡🍎😂
I’m going to hell in every religion.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's collecting passport stamps to every hell around the world! 🔥🌏🔥 Remember, variety is the spice of damnation! 😈 #WorldTourOfHells"
At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.
Commentary:
"Selling drugs may not be explicitly mentioned in the Bible, but I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't approve of your 'miraculous' herb garden 😄💊 #DivineDeals"
I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.
Commentary:
Looks like Jesus took the wheel, but the turn signal got left behind! 🙈🚗😂
So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?
Commentary:
Guess we better start praying to the climate gods for a cool down! ⛅️🙏🌍