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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Seen just now on X:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Making waves on Messenger:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Making waves on X:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Breaking via Reddit:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Breaking via Reddit:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Going viral on YouTube:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Just landed via Slack:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Going viral on Facebook:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Live now on Snapchat:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

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