Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Icarus loved hot wings.