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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,855

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Trending via Messenger:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Just shared via Discord:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Just landed via Threads:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Shared recently on Slack:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,893

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Making waves on YouTube:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Trending via Reddit:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Spotted on Slack:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Going viral on Messenger:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Just shared via Instagram:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

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