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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Going viral on Threads:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Trending via Facebook:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Just shared via Reddit:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Making waves on Slack:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Broadcasted on X:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Trending via Threads:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Just shared via Threads:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Going viral on WeChat:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Funny running late quotes

Funny running late quotes are the perfect way to turn those hectic moments into laughs 😂⏰ Whether you’re stuck in traffic, hit snooze one too many times, or just can’t find your keys, these witty lines will have you chuckling instead of stressing 🚶‍♂️💨 Life’s too short to be on time all the time—embrace the chaos with a smile! 😄✨

New funny running late quotes 👇

All funny running late quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

20 shares on X this month:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Just shared via YouTube:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Spotted on WeChat:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Making waves on Instagram:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Seen just now on Threads:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

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