Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,048

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Going viral on Discord:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Just landed via Facebook:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Making waves on X:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Trending via Slack:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Breaking via Discord:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Funny running late quotes

Funny running late quotes are the perfect way to turn those hectic moments into laughs 😂⏰ Whether you’re stuck in traffic, hit snooze one too many times, or just can’t find your keys, these witty lines will have you chuckling instead of stressing 🚶‍♂️💨 Life’s too short to be on time all the time—embrace the chaos with a smile! 😄✨

New funny running late quotes 👇

All funny running late quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Threads this month:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

73 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

51 shares on Slack this month:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,076

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Spotted on Reddit:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Breaking via Instagram:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Going bananas on TikTok:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Spotted on Twitch:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Going viral on Telegram:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Shared recently on X:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Going viral on Threads:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴