Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Living la vida taco!

Just landed via Instagram:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Freshly posted on X:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Spotted on Threads:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Funny running late quotes

Funny running late quotes are the perfect way to turn those hectic moments into laughs 😂⏰ Whether you’re stuck in traffic, hit snooze one too many times, or just can’t find your keys, these witty lines will have you chuckling instead of stressing 🚶‍♂️💨 Life’s too short to be on time all the time—embrace the chaos with a smile! 😄✨

New funny running late quotes 👇

All funny running late quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Discord this month:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

89 shares on Slack this month:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

“There’s a reason religion tells you your reward is after death; it keeps you quiet while you’re being exploited alive.”

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

30 shares on Reddit this month:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

53 shares on Discord this month:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

85 shares on Slack this month:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Trending via Messenger:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Spotted on X:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Trending via Threads:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Live now on Snapchat:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Just shared via Pinterest:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Š 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴