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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Spotted on Slack:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Just landed via Threads:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Live now on Discord:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Seen just now on Threads:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Breaking via WeChat:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Trending via Telegram:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Freshly posted on Threads:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Going viral on Messenger:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Body by sandwich.

Live now on Twitch:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

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