Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Spotted on WeChat:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Going viral on Slack:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Shared recently on Instagram:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Trending via LinkedIn:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Just landed via Threads:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Trending via Snapchat:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Just landed via Slack:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Everyday I wait for a vampire to seduce me.

Funny second lesson quotes

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Twitch this month:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

17 shares on Threads this month:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

67 shares on X this month:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Trending via Discord:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Going viral on X:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

Breaking via Threads:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

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